Hissy fit and then make-up
This morning, oi! Getting the girls off to school was like trying to wrestle two wet and very angry cats into a shoe box. All the clawing, hissing, and spitting - and I’m pretty sure cats would behave the same way. I don’t really know why but my girls woke up grumpy today. Then we had to endure an hour of “stop touching me” and “I don’t want pancakes” and Mia throwing her clothes across the room because she didn’t like what I suggested she wear and she wanted purple socks, not blue and why can’t she wear them dirty!! *migraine* If I survive these two it will be a miracle. Dan and I live in constant dread of the teenage years. He is convinced there will be days when he’ll walk in from work and be hit by a wave of estrogen at the door. There are semi-serious plans to include a small room with a cot in the design for the shed we’re going to build someday. It better be a cot big enough for two, that’s all I’m sayin’. Abruptly Changing Topics I was browsing around the fabric store last week and a woman came up to me with this big fake smile plastered on her face. “You’re going to think I’m crazy,” she said, “but I make it a goal to talk to the most put-together woman in any store I’m in, and you look fabulous.” Uh-huh. I had actually done my hair and makeup that day, but I hardly think jeans and a T-shirt and a little mascara is enough to turn you into a fashion icon. Then she starts the pitch. “Have you ever heard of Mary Kay cosmetics?” In fact, I am well acquainted with Mary Kay. One of my carpool buddies during my corporate years was a Mary Kay consultant so for 90 minutes every day, I got to hear all about it and what a wonderful company it was and what a great career it could be and “Hey, why don’t you come to a meeting sometime?” I always wondered if Mary Kay-land was raining gold coins as she claimed, then why was she a full-time secretary? But whatever. During these lectures, my friend admitted that hunting for well-put-together strangers is part of the company’s strategy. This makes no sense to me. Why try to sell makeup to people who have already found what works for them? If I were in the business I’d find the worst looking woman in the store and sidle up and whisper “I can help you.” But of course I know that the real money in Mary Kay comes from your downline (Look! I speak MLM jargon!) through recruiting new consultants, not from actually selling the products. So the goal isn’t to sell the lipstick it’s to sell the lifestyle. During my carpooling years with Ms. Consultant, I had the chance to try all the Mary Kay products. They’re fine but I didn’t think they were any different from the hundreds of other creams and lotions at the department store. My skin has always been prone to breakouts and from the time I hit puberty, it’s been an all-out war. I have seen dermatologists for pills and beauty experts for products and I’ve tried almost everything out there, from Mary Kay and Estee Lauder down to Seabreeze and Safeguard. Nothing made any difference and lots of stuff even made it worse. So two years ago my face felt like old dry tissue paper and I was still breaking out. Not masses of pimples like a teenager, but I almost always had some kind of zit or blemish. Then I found The Beauty Bible by Paula Begoun and it really, truly made a difference. In the book, Paula explains the murky and high-dollar world of cosmetics (Heh - I originally typed that costmetics) and it’s startling - such as the way the cosmetics companies control the women’s magazines and how many different brands are actually owned by one parent company so you get the exact same ingredients only at hugely different prices. The best thing though was the product evaluations and the breakdown of ingredients. Did you know that most of the stuff on the market contains very basic (and inexpensive) ingredients and that the majority of products out there not only don’t help your skin, but contain stuff that actually harms it? Two years ago I was using a very expensive skin care line that you can only get from the snooty girls at the department store and my face still looked like crap. Now I use the cheap stuff that is stocked at any pharmacy and my skin is soft and - dare I say - dewy, and the breakouts are much less frequent. I still get the occasional pimple and I probably always will, but there has been a HUGE improvement in my skin and in the way I feel about myself. Woah - I didn’t mean to go off on such a tangent. But seriously, get this book from the library or go to Paula’s website and research what you’re using. It might make a difference for you too. I admit, she lost a little credibility when she started selling her own products, but I’ve never used them and the products she helped me find are working for me. But back to my original story, I politely told the Mary Kay lady what I’ve just told you and there was this awkward moment while she tried to figure out a way to exit gracefully. Then she started talking to Mia and pretending she was only interested in a casual conversation all along and sort of drifted away. A few minutes later I overheard her in another aisle talking to someone else, “You’re going to think I’m crazy, but I make it a goal…” Yeah, that’s what I thought.
One Response to “Hissy fit and then make-up”
Leave a Reply
May 13th, 2006 at 3:16 pm
Congratulations on your move! I, um, love what you’ve done with the place…
I can’t comment on the makeup business (although I have to say it doesn’t surprise me) because I somehow managed to go through high school without learning to apply makeup, and never had anyone sell me on it since, so I just go through life with a naked face. I’m not against it in any way, but I guess my life is simpler without it.
What I REALLY wanted to say, though, was about the kids. My girls are close to yours in age and my husband is currently working in the United States (which is not where we live). He’s a surveyor at a construction project and oversees a lot of immigrant laborers.
He came home for a couple of weeks over Christmas and at one point was in charge of the girls for a day. When I got home he said, in all seriousness, “it’s easier to be in charge of 40 Mexicans than those two.”
I think it’s my favorite thing he’s ever said to me.