Limits
I have a very strict “no eating food that falls on the floor” policy because - ew. The floor is where people walk, sometimes barefoot, and when something falls on the floor it automatically gets all - feety. And ew. There is no three second rule for me and hi, did I mention I have a problem with feet? Dan has no such problem and not only believes in the three second rule, but has been known to have a very liberal definition of “three seconds.” Therefore, he will sometimes eat things that have in fact, fallen on the floor. (I know, ick.) Sadly, he is out of my control, but I am busily working on the children. I consider it my duty to startle them by shrieking “DO NOT EAT THAT, IT WAS ON THE FLOOR! AHHHHH!” and flail wildly at them to try and knock whatever-it-is from their grasping little fingers. So tonight I have a question, a hypothetical question. I will not eat food off the floor…but what if it is the very last Swedish Fish and you have been craving Swedish Fish and the kids have eaten them all but one? And what if it is very late and you cannot get more right now and you are clumsy and have dropped said Very Last Swedish Fish on the floor - the icky awful floor where there are feet? But what if you just mopped this morning and it fell in a corner where people hardly ever step and no one is awake to see you and you wipe it off very, very carefully with a paper towel? And what if you eat it and then chase it down with lots of water and maybe gargle with mouthwash? Does that count? Hypothetically speaking of course. I feel so dirty.
2 Responses to “Limits”
Leave a Reply
June 6th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
hahahahahaha! That is so funny! Go ahead… we won’t tell anyone.
But, “feety.” Ew.
June 27th, 2006 at 5:24 am
As long as there’s no visible dog hair or anything, it’s still good. Did you rinse it off under the tap? Though my advice may be suspect because admittedly I HAVE just had food poisoning. I promise I didn’t eat anything off the ground, though.