Forward and back
The girls started back to school today and I’m switching between bouts of deep dark despair and elation. (Yes, I know you all wish you could live with me. Isn’t my family lucky!) Hello hormones! Despair obviously because Mia started first grade and Amy started third and suddenly I am achingly aware of how fast time is going and how quickly my children are growing up. It seems to have gone by in a blink and I can’t believe that these lanky, articulate, imaginative girls are the same little souls I rocked and changed and fed once upon a time. They seem to have morphed overnight into actual, real people instead of appendages to me. You spend all this time and effort and money helping them find their wings, and then they use those wings to fly away and leave you. Not that I would have it any other way, but on days like this, the realization of just how far they’ve come tends to come crashing down on me. So I’m feeling the sadness and loneliness as well a large dose of guilt and anxiety, have I taught them everything they should know? Will they be able to handle the increased pressure and demands of this next grade? Will they be able to find and keep some good friends?* Of course, my elation comes from the same source. For the first time in almost eight years I suddenly find myself with a large chunk of free time every day. Not totally free since I still have to work, but it is significant. So what to do with myself? I’ve thought about getting a regular job, but we’re going to see how the freelance thing goes for a while longer. For now I have grandiose plans to exercise every day, clean the house from top to bottom, and spend more time with my friends and on some hobbies. I have several years worth of unfinished projects including a baby cross-stitch sampler I started before Amy was born. It’s about 85% finished, do you think either of them will want it now? Pastel teddy bears will go nicely with Amy’s tween, rock-star themed room, don’t you think? In spite of the whining in my last post, our summer hasn’t been a total bust. We took the kids to an aviary last week and yesterday we went on a tram ride to the top of one of the mountains in our area. We’ve spent a lot of time in the swimming pool, making cookies, and reading stories and the other night we camped out in the backyard. Not my favorite summer, but we could do worse. What every blog needs…and angry seagull. *Oh yes, the friend thing. Oi! Amy’s best friend has moved away every year since she’s been in Kindergarten. That’s three best friends in three years - gone. And, we just learned recently that one of her favorite playmates in the neighborhood is moving next month. Naturally it’s hard for Amy and I worry she will become wary about making new friends. I don’t want her to start feeling like everyone she cares about leaves. I have to admit, I’m a little ticked off about the whole thing. No one likes to see their kid hurting and I view most of this pain as unnecessary. I can understand people moving because of a job change, or if the county builds a freeway through your backyard, or for other unavoidable reasons. But, all of her friends have moved simply because their parents want a newer, bigger, nicer house. They have all stayed within about a 15 mile radius, but have moved far enough away that we have to plan play dates and time together. We try but inevitably the girls drift apart. When you’re seven, it’s hard to be best friends with someone who doesn’t go to your school or live in your neighborhood. Amy really yearns for someone in her class she can count on to stick around. I know my opinion might not be popular with some, but I don’t understand why parents uproot their children and yank them away from what they know simply to have a three-car garage and a rec room. I find the rampant consumerism and the bigger, better, faster, more mentality we’ve got going on in America very disturbing. Where does it end? Why can’t we be happy with what we’ve got? Edited to add - yes, I understand moving if you simply need more space. We did the same thing a few years ago. But that has not been the case here. All of these friends moved from houses that were big enough, they just weren’t deemed nice enough. In fact, one family now has less square footage, but they’ve got granite counter tops and a tile shower. I guess that was worth it?
I have no idea why this bird was so mad, maybe because Mia ate the french fry he felt rightly belonged to him.
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