Black Wednesday
There was a hearing this morning in which the bank that is suing us had to present evidence to justify continuing the case or it would be dismissed. Despite many hopes and prayers and despite them not returning a phone call or an email for over six months, they showed up at the hearing with dozens of excuses why they are not responsible for allowing our contractor steal the bulk of our construction loan - never mind that we paid them to verify the work had been done before releasing money and they didn’t. So it looks like the case will continue. We have 30 days to present an acceptable settlement offer or they’ll pursue us in court where they will be ruthless to get the money owed, plus interest, plus attorney’s fees. Our own attorney’s fees are in the tens of thousands and it’s just going to get worse. This nightmare has been with us for over two years, carving a deep rut of anxiety and depression. I feel brittle, exhausted, and incredibly sad. We try to be good, honest people. We made the mistake of trusting someone who wasn’t good or honest and they have walked away while we are facing what could be complete financial ruin. We haven’t sorted out all the numbers yet but preliminarily, we are looking at either refinancing our house and burying ourselves in a debt we will struggle to pay for the next 20+ years, or selling our house, moving far away, and starting almost completely over. Either way it looks like things will be getting worse before they get better. I know it’s only money and that there is much to be grateful for. But right now as I sit here trying not to think about all the other things we need to pay for and can’t, things seem pretty bleak. I feel like I’m standing on the edge a high cliff and dangling my children over the chasm.