My inner klutz takes no prisoners
For someone with dance training, I am remarkably uncoordinated…and it’s getting worse. Suddenly I’m death on legs - falling in the snow, stubbing my toes on everything, and ricocheting around the house like a human pinball. What’s happened? Inner ear problem? Is my depth perception askew? Did my arms and legs grow slightly and throw off my spatial relationships? Has my brain lost its ability to grasp time, speed, and distance? Maybe all of the above. Last week I rounded the corner in the hallway and ran smack into the boom-box that was sitting on the floor waiting to be relocated. That thing did not give an inch and I went flying, smashed into the wall, and then sunk to the floor in a blur of anger and pain. I have spectacular bruising all along my shins. There’s still a large knot under my arm from before Christmas when I slipped on ice and landed on top of the car seat, arms akimbo. Yes, I landed partially on the car seat and yes, Adam was in it. Fortunately the carrying handle was locked and so it (and my bad knee) took the brunt of my weight. Adam was fine; he didn’t even cry. Me, not so much. Earlier this week I slammed my finger in a door. There’s a gash on my ankle where I backed into my husband’s toolbox while trying to unload the car. I have bruises on both hips from constantly running into my dining room table. Yesterday in the shower I found several mysterious scratches along my left shoulder. Phantom cat? Time to trim Adam’s nails? No idea. Last night I cut my thumb open on sour cream. Sour cream! Okay, it was actually the edge of the container, but still. It’s a wimpy little plastic lid. Who does that? I think the children are starting to get scared.
4 Responses to “My inner klutz takes no prisoners”
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January 19th, 2008 at 1:23 am
Currently I have a massive bruise on my forearm, and I can feel I WILL have a bruise on my upper thigh, from when I backed into the corner of a desk. I don’t remember how the hell I got the one on my arm, but it looks horrific and highly prominent. Go me!
January 19th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
I’ll let you know when my bruise colored clothing line comes out. Sounds like you could use it too.
January 19th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Hehe… You said “akimbo.”
January 20th, 2008 at 10:53 am
This is the reason I got rid of the coffee table. I get enough random bruises from theater. I blame it on poor depth perception.
This is also why I prefer to play racquetball alone.