Let’s laugh at me, shall we?
Going through a box and I found this, a tattered notebook with an oh so precious 1980s cover of teal and dusky rose. There’s a crazy geometric pattern outlined in yellow and the whole thing is covered in what are supposed to be bubbles (of course it’s covered in bubbles). My 16-year-old self made this mess even more precious by outlining everything in purple ink and scattering my initials over it in big, loopy writing. At least I didn’t dot my i’s with hearts. (Thank heavens for small miracles.) Behold my English journal from my junior year of high school. Writing in it was mandatory but I’m pretty sure the teacher didn’t specify that it had to be chock full of angsty, girly dribble. I seem to have made some attempt to write in code, but even so, I can’t believe I wrote this stuff knowing my teacher (gasp!) would read it. Cue Air Supply… March 15, 1989 It is only one month before the Prom! I’m so depressed! M is acting like a jerk today. I can’t believe how quickly things change. Only a week ago, we were having fun and laughing after class. Now, Girl’s Day is over and he isn’t even talking to me. It’s kind of funny in a way. I mean, we play these little games (or used to) trying to make each other jealous or something. Then when we (or me) am sure I hate him, he does something like sitting by me or talking to me for a long time, and I like him all over again. In a way, it is kind of like a scale. We add things (weights) until one of us gives in and upsets the scale. It is really confusing! Only one week until I leave for SpaceCamp!!! I’m so excited that I can hardly stand it. I’m kind of scared about going by myself; but it will really be fun!!! Last night I went to the movies with Kim and her family. We saw “Beaches” with Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey. We cried through the whole thing because it was really sad. I’d better stop now. I have a lot of work to do and I’d better get started. Those were some serious analytical skills at work, people. M and me - we were like a scale. Because…it can be heavy and it…tips and stuff. There’s meaning on so many levels. Also, you should know that if you want me to like you all you have to do is “sit by me or talk to me for a long time.” You don’t even have to do both. You can stand and talk or you can sit and be quiet. Sitting or talking, apparently I will like you either way. And yes, I did go to SpaceCamp. Because I am awesome.
5 Responses to “Let’s laugh at me, shall we?”
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March 15th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I went to Shuttle Camp, twice.
There is a reason my journals from high school and the start of college are a little musty right now. I’m terrified I’d find out I was one of those teenage girls that really annoy me right now.
March 15th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
I was TOTALLY one of those teenage girls! I never felt like one of those girls, but ugh! My modern day self really wants to slap my teenage self right now.
The rest of the journal is just as bad, or worse. Maybe I should make this a regular feature.
March 17th, 2008 at 11:39 am
I so wish I could go back in time and give my completely clueless self some advice. And some books. “He’s Just Not That Into You” to start with.
March 18th, 2008 at 7:20 am
Oooooo. YES! Make it a regular feature!
March 18th, 2008 at 1:31 pm
Ha! What a laugh! We were pretty dang pathetic back then weren’t we? You with M and me with B? I’m afraid of even finding my old journal entries! I’d probably have to slap my modern self for all the cluelessness. (is that a word?)