At the store…
I am buying two shirts and am ready to check out. Kohl’s Employee: Are you putting this on your Khol’s charge account? Me: No, it’s cash. KE: Do you have a Khol’s charge account? Me: No. And I don’t want one either. KE: If you open an account right now you can save 15% today and additional savings all year long. Me: No thanks. KE: (Gives me the stink eye.) It only takes a few minutes and I can sign you up right here. Me: No, THANK YOU. KE: I don’t understand why anyone would say no to this offer. You’ll save a lot of money. Man who checked out before me but is still hanging around: Yeah, you save a TON of money. I must point out here that I just watched this man pay $50 down on his store credit balance and then put another $175 on the card. And the reason he is still hanging around is that he is guarding his wife’s overflowing cart while she runs off to hunt for just one more item. So he already spent $175 and there’s at least another $200 piled in the cart for her. Me: I just want to pay for this stuff and go. KE: Well how about signing up for our email newsletter? You’ll get special offers throughout the year. Me: Aaaaaaahhhhhh! And so finally when I threatened not to buy anything at all, the clerk takes my cash and pouted through the transaction while the guy in debt watched and shook his head sadly. Heaven forbid I should pay for something with money I already have. Heaven forbid I should spare myself the 30% interest. Heaven forbid I decline dozens of spam emails every month. Call off the dogs, Kohl’s.
5 Responses to “At the store…”
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June 24th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Ha. I usually say “I haven’t had a credit card for nearly 10 years, and I’d rather not get into any more debt.” The thing that usually really works, though, is to say “I’ll apply for that card when I finish grad school and buy new furniture/wardrobe/what-have-you.” What a pain. Having been on the other side of the register, I remember having some kind of bonus offered for a certain number of card sign ups. I still hated asking people and I usually let it go after the first time they said no. But some people are stupid.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:16 am
It’s only 21.90%
I’m with you. I just want to pay for stuff with MY money. When people ask if I’d like to apply for their credit card, I tell them that I’m financing this purchase through “Bank of Me.”
I usually say something a little on the strange side if they push the issue. I take them out of their comfort zone and they usually don’t know how to react.
My personal favorite: “Charge cards are against my religion.” If they persist (only one ever has), I ask them “Why do you want God to smite me?” It helps to look fearfully upwards. It would have been perfect in your case, because as you walked past the unhelpful man with the huge card balance, you could have called him an infidel.
Another thing that usually works is to say something like “I know it would save me money today, but it wouldn’t save as much as I already spent on seven years of therapy for credit card addiction. You wouldn’t offer an alcoholic a drink, would you?”
June 25th, 2008 at 1:17 pm
I was offered one at Target last night. The lady was very nice about it though. I kind of think she might be British.
But one of these days I’m going to have to try that “against my religion” thing.
I already don’t like that they want to know my zip code when I buy stuff at certain stores. That either gets a simple no, a random group of five numbers, or a declaration that they don’t need it.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
Zip codes… I always happily give the zip code 02134, which is somewhere in Boston, Massachusetts. I only know that because I used to watch Zoom after school when I was a kid, and they gave the P.O. Box for sending stuff to Zoom and they always sang the zip code…
OOOOOOOO Two ONNNNNNNNNNNNNE Three FOURRRRRRRRR! Send it to ZOOM!
So that’s my “nosy store” zip code.
July 1st, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I went to Kohls tonight and I almost wanted to buy something just so I could tell them I didn’t want their credit card.