At Least it’s Over
Sorry for the silence. It’s been a stressful and eventful couple of weeks and I haven’t felt much like inflicting my whining on you. But I will now. After almost two years of back and forth, the bank finally accepted our settlement offer, signed the bloody papers, and dropped the lawsuit. Two years! To accomplish something that could have happened in half an hour if they had been willing to simply talk to us face-to-face, as we requested many, many times. Since our house hasn’t sold yet, we had to refinance our mortgage to get the money to pay the settlement and the lawyers. Not our first choice but it was our only option. I was really tempted to do something gross to the cashier’s checks but finally decided to take the high road. The relief around here is tangible. Obviously we wish things could have turned out differently and that it had not cost us all this money but at least it’s done. We don’t have to dread the next phone call from the lawyers or worry that something worse is just around the corner. It’s been a long stretch of anxiety, stress, tears, worry, and grief and I’m glad to see it go. There are lots of things we’ll never be able to resolve. We let the statute of limitations lapse on our option to sue the builder for stealing our construction loan because we don’t want to spend any more time or money on this. We’d love to see him pay for his crime and we have a very good case so we’d most likely win. But awarded money is not the same as collected money and we know we’d never see a dime. We also will never know the extent of the bank’s involvement. We paid them to verify the work was done before releasing funds and they didn’t. We’ve asked them to justify that many times and they’ve refused. We don’t know if it was negligence or if something else was going on and the only way we’d get it out of them is in a trial. Before the ink was dry, before the papers had even been officially filed, our lawyers started hassling us for the rest of the money we owed them. At the beginning we paid them a large retainer (which they burned through in about five weeks) and since we didn’t have yet another umpteen thousand dollars to dump into their till, they agreed to accept monthly payments. We didn’t even have a copy of the settlement agreement yet and they started sending nasty emails and calling several times a day demanding payment in full. Paying the lawyers was almost as galling as having to pay the bank. When we met with them two years ago, they assured us, promised us that we would never have to pay anywhere near the amount the bank was originally demanding. Well, we didn’t have to pay it to the bank. But when you add in their fees they ended up saving us about $3000 and added to our stress level considerably. In hindsight I’d almost rather have just paid the bank what they asked and been done with it. To summarize… Us = Not happy. So much time, energy, and money gone. The bank = Not happy. Probably spent more suing us than they got back in the settlement. The lawyers = Very happy. Multiple steak dinners on our dime, two years of steady work, and payment that does not justify the work performed. We’ve endured plenty of very dark days but the clouds are starting to lift a little. Our financial future has taken a huge hit and we are having to let go of many cherished dreams. It will take a long time to recover from this and I’m sure there will be difficult decisions and hard days ahead, but there are many people better than me who have been through far worse. I’m grateful every day that my children are healthy and happy and we have our freedom and our faith. Dan and I have learned a lot, mostly the hard way, and from now on we’ll be wiser and more careful with our future. If I could pass on any advice, it would be this: (1) Be careful who you trust. No matter how sincere someone may seem or how long you’ve known them, money changes people. (2) Question everything and get it in writing. Be very wary of deals where the risk is not spread evenly. (3) Trust your gut. Big money and fantastic returns rarely come without strings attached. (4) Don’t let anyone have access to your money or your credit. (5) Avoid lawsuits like the plague. If you’re in a bad situation, try and work it out. Use a mediator if necessary but do everything you can to stay out of court. (6) Never, NEVER completely trust a lawyer. They’ll always put their own interest over yours.
5 Responses to “At Least it’s Over”
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July 22nd, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Oh what an experience for you guys. I always think that it is such a shame that things like this happen to good, honest people who are just trying to live their lives.
I hope that at least with the experience of it being over, you can work past whatever is left to deal with and begin heading back into a good direction. You and your family deserve wonderful things.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:01 am
That sounds exhausting. And scary. Hope you guys are feeling better and looking forward…
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:23 pm
If we lived closer, I’d take you out for a drink. You deserve it. Hopefully things will settle.
July 24th, 2008 at 10:20 am
Wow.
I’m glad it’s settled. I’ll silently curse attorneys forever, just for you. Maybe out loud some too.
Congratu-dolences.
July 25th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
I can’t imagine the relief to have this stressful chapter of your life come to an end. Despite the many challenges & sacrifices you have made (and will no doubt still make), I’m convinced that things can only get better!